what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
yo how much dirt you gotta throw in the ocean to make a new country
for some reason i thought both of these were the same post and i sat for awhile trying to figure out which ice cream face was the weak bitch
i love seeing girls close ranks when their fella is cheating, instead of defending him and attacking the other girls. like seriously. it warms my cold, cold heart so much.
i need the rest of this story, where did you put the body
Supernatural Villainesses + Text Posts
the more I think about it, the more I realize that 2009 me would be pretty scared/intimidated by 2014 me and that’s what counts
Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.
i want a novel focused around a character with braces during the apocalypse and the entire plot of the story revolves around their search for an orthodontist who is still alive and they sort of accidentally save the world in the process
when the doorbell rings and i know it’s the pizza guy
When I was a kid I would be like “ew boys” and my mom would say “darling, some day you’ll like boys” but congratulations mom I’m a lesbian so ew boys
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